What does your sex life reveal about your relationship and personality? Are you a lover or a player? Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, but what does it mean for people who confuse love and love making or having sex.
Amid the flowers, candy, perfume, poems, and love songs, there also exists the sad reality of many struggling through the anxiety of romance and heartbreak.
As a marriage, family, and relationship therapist, I was aware of numerous clients suffering from the illusions of love or what they thought was a loving relationship with their lover who was identified as a player.
What is the difference between a player and a lover, and which label fits your personality? A player is widely viewed as a selfish and self-centered person who plays at love making without intimacy. A single player is usually referred to as a playboy or a playgirl, who often have sex with different partners for selfish motives or self gratification. A playboy or playgirl most often seeks out partners for sexual exploits.
A married player, exposes him or herself to several risks, and divorce is an inevitable result. I have heard married and single clients describe past encounters with a player. Many described encounters based solely on sex without affection or efforts to sustain a loving relationship. In such encounters, the primary focus centered around sexual release, “a quickie,” or “sexual conquests or sexual exploitation.” Usually a quickie involves energy toward immediate physical gratification rather than interest in an individual’s personal needs or feelings. These encounters seldom led to loving, caring, and lasting relationships. Such encounters could lead to sexual transmitted diseases, pregnancies and divorce, if marriage ensues.
A lover is most often viewed as a mature person with a sense of self-awareness who works at love making to please his or her mate while building a lasting relationship that includes other aspects outside of sex. In most cases, a lover will seek a mate who shares similar interest, goals, values, morals, and views about relationships. A lover is one who tries to be nurturing and attentive to his or her mate’s needs, interest, and feelings.
A lover works hard at trying to please his or her mate in all aspects of a relationship including love making. A lover is as much interested in satisfying his or her mate as meeting their own sexual needs.
Personality traits of a true lover:
- You are in love with your mate.
- You take the time to learn what make your mate happy.
- You enjoy sharing loving experiences.
- You work harder to put a glow or smile on your mate’s face.
- You take pride in your mate’s accomplishments.
- You feel a sense of reward in sharing your life with your mate.
Now take the: Love and Sex Test
Tags: love, lover, player, sex, valentine's day
